I’m a blogger. I share photos of myself online and write about the things that interest me: mainly clothes, makeup, and books. But why do I blog? It’s a question oft asked when I’m struggling to type out anything remotely interesting to a draft post, on a deadline, and stressed out. Why do I go through with this?
The answer comes in two parts. The first part is simple: I blog because I enjoy it (though I complain enough to convince myself otherwise). But the second part takes some explaining.
I’ve always been a shy kid. You know, the type of kid who hides behind their mum’s legs and won’t talk to anybody. And I still am, though not to that extent (which I’m sure my mother’s happy about). I never had many friends, and I still only have a small group whom I love dearly. But I still feel uncomfortable meeting and talking to new people. I hate being in the spotlight. I feel uncomfortable taking compliments, or letting others know that I feel good about myself. I am so self conscious, and it never feels right to showcase or broadcast my talents and abilities. Basically, I’m still uncomfortable in my own skin.
Which makes no sense as to why I decided to be a blogger. But here I am, typing away and taking photos of myself and writing to you that I look good. So I guess part of the reason I blog is to force myself out of my comfort zones, to make myself comfortable letting people know my talents, to become self-confident. And to force myself to be my own best critic. Yes, you heard that right. My best critic. Which means learning not to critique myself in every photo I take. And not second guessing every idea I have.
So much of my hesitation to start on the blogging journey was rooted in my fear of other people’s opinions. What if I put myself out there and was ridiculed? But I pushed through, because really, it was something I wanted to try out. And I shouldn’t let other people get in the way of what I want to do. And yet I have the same hesitation in sharing this with you; what if it all seems trivial?
But I know there are others like me out there; those of us who are always on the sidelines, watching as everyone else does everything we want to do. And I say: go for it.